Assimilation

 

“Enter through their door, and be sure to leave through yours.”

 -St. Ignatius Loyola (on trying to make yourself understood to another)

Part of the training for my mission work in Ghana is to attend a month-long program at the Tamale Institute of Cross-Cultural Studies (TICCS). I will be attending in Tamale, one of the larger cities in Ghana (2023 population: @730,000 and the fastest growing city in West Africa) and the closest one to Damongo (@ 2 hours away) for the entire month of May. While I have been in Damongo for almost 3 months now, I am able to specifically recognize my own cultural shortcomings. I need to learn more to be successful in my mission. That’s self-awareness. One of the main issues that many of us have, and I am no exception, is the perception that we either have no need to acquire more knowledge or that we so mistrust and fear new ideas that we close ourselves off to even considering them. Cross-culturally this is more important than perhaps anywhere else in life. Truth is, once we stop growing and learning, we stop living, create thicker and higher barriers, and thus, begin dying.

I am constantly learning here in Damongo, and thankful for it. Besides the goal of immersing myself into this society in a more general way, my professional purpose for being here is as both property and hospitality manager. I have approximately 35-years-experience between the two. While that gives me a very basic overview of how systems work in a general way, the particulars are what can make or break us success-wise. I am very fortunate to have my battery powered tools here (they are quite a luxury in this place). However, the material is not only often quite different from what I’m used to, but there is also a constant scarcity issue. Imagine exchanging a supplier like Home Depot or Lowes with a purveyor no larger than the size of the basic American living room! Obviously, that means that projects are smaller, move slower and require MacGuyver-like improvisation on my part. Accepting the situation as ‘different’ is far more beneficial than to judge it inferior. That type of judgement will only benefit my ego and won’t get the work done.

Similarly, the cuisine is very alien to my experiences. I have been cooking for myself since age 12 and owned restaurants for over 20 years, but there are huge differences here that will take time to process. First of all, there are virtually no natural dairy products- milk, cheese or butter. There are just eggs. This is due in no small part to the hot climate and inability to refrigerate for most people. Because dairy products have never really existed here, there is not only a lack of familiarity and desire for them, but many of their digestive systems probably couldn’t handle them anyway. Because of the climate and the general poverty, the people here have also grown to accept less variety. They truly eat to live. Desserts and sugar are virtually absent from the diet as well. The daily fare is almost exclusively starch and protein based. Rice and a doughy substance known as banku are served with either chicken or bony fish. Spice level is the common variable in most dishes. Most of the people here like their food served spicy hot as peppers are readily available. A self-aware person realizes right away that he is not going to completely revamp diets that have evolved over thousands of years.

I can cook a large variety of foods that would satisfy most of the palettes I’m familiar with. However, I am still in the process of getting to know the culinary habits of my hosts here in Ghana. My knowledge of particular cuisines such as Italian, Cajun, Eastern European or American is of little use here. What is of use right now is helping to implement systems of efficiency for what is existing. For instance, this week I hope to install some much-needed shelving to free up counter space in the kitchen. Last week, I built wooden cash register drawers. I sit with the kitchen manager and plan quality control and food ordering procedures. Innovations with respect to tradition is my goal. When I return from the TICCS class, I will have a richer knowledge of menu ingredients and their cultural significance. Local tradition taking precedence over my ideas, and being careful to take none of the rejections personally. Building trust not only knocks down the barriers between my fellow workers and me, but will require no small measure of humility on my part.

So often, life is about self-awareness. It’s one of the qualities that we should always concentrate on developing. What I find most ironic is that ‘self-awareness’ is more about the other person or people than about ourselves. Being self-aware is to be self-corrective to the benefit of those around you; to become unselfish; to understand that you and your needs are not the most important piece of life’s puzzle; to realize that observation and processing all that surrounds you precedes judgement, commentary and reaction. Pride is the enemy of self-awareness, and I am not alone in battling it each day. Often, we live within our own echo chamber, reassuring ourselves that we are the sole arbitrators of everything that crosses our path. Unfortunately, this misconception becomes more strongly rooted as we grow older and more set in our ways. 

I’ve been like a ‘bull in a China shop’ for much of my life on a few different levels. Like most of us, I don’t wake up with bad intentions but at times lack a certain mindfulness. This is where self-awareness and a positive spirituality become such valuable tools. But like any tools they require practice to be utilized. They are keys in not only engaging cultures across the world, but also the family in the house across the street or the stranger in the park. The world has about 8 billion people in it, all of us with our own unique personalities, skills and expectations. No one of us, nor any culture, is more important than another despite what we would like to believe or what we have been erroneously taught. Living life with humility, finding more comfort in learning than in teaching, and in listening rather than speaking, leads me to discover the joy that exists within myself. I know I will achieve my greatest satisfactions when I accept that my own acknowledged unimportance is the most precious gift that I bring to the world.