Funeral Memorial

I have just passed the halfway point of my 3-year commitment in Damongo working for the Diocese. The work itself has been very fulfilling. However, even more fulfilling has been my immersion into the local culture. I count many Ghanaians as friends. We work together. We eat together. We celebrate together. We even commiserate together, at times.

The culture here is much more communal than that of America. For a variety of reasons, I think it’s something we in the US have lost over the years. There are 35 tribes in Ghana. Locally, the Gonjas are most predominant, with the Dagarre and Frafras making up most of the local smaller Catholic population (as compared with Muslim - largely Gonja tribe). These two tribes have migrated from the Upper West and Upper East regions of the country, respectively. Certain tribes here associate in a joking way with another, which is the case of the Dagarre and Frafra, referring to each other as ‘playmates.’ I am continually interacting with both and I enjoy the banter between them.

Over the weekend of August 10^th and 11^th, I had the honor of taking an active part in the memorial service for Charles Naagieh, a local Dagarre man, who lived fruitfully as a farmer and held various other jobs during his time in Damongo. I actually met Charles on his deathbed, on the last day of his 82-year-old life. 

The foundation of the communal life here is tribe/family. In addition to the birthing parents, aunts and uncles are also referred to as fathers and mothers, as are other tribal elders, to a lesser degree. The same holds true of cousins referred to as brother and sister and tribal aged contemporaries. This inclusionary way of living means nobody falls through the cracks here. It also makes the planning of funerals and weddings very difficult because of travel and the desire to have everyone present. Such was the case with Charles.

I became aware of Charles through his daughter (fraternal niece), Cynthia, who works at the Catholic Secretariat. It was made known that Charles needed blood. I answered that call, donating on June 28^th 2023. I met him afterward and joined the family in prayer around his bed. He expired the next day. Because of the aforementioned travel coordination, Charles was buried about 6 weeks later in his hometown of Nandom, Upper West Region about a 4-hour drive away. The 6-week period between death and burial is very common here. I have heard stories of up to a year between the events. August 10^th and 11^th 2024 were set as the local 1-year memorial in Damongo so that those who could not travel to Nandom in 2023 could celebrate Charles life. This type of memorial is also a strong tradition among the Dagarre people.

As in nature, I believe that the birth death cycle is the foundation of our own relationships with each other and the world. Through my very brief interaction with the dying Charles, a very strong friendship developed with Cynthia and her extended family. I attend church with her, her sister, Mary and their children each Sunday. We regularly visit Dinah, Charles widow, for a beer or Pito, a traditional local drink. Truly, I feel as part of the family.

A few weeks before the local celebration, the family presented me with the cloth they had all dressed in at the funeral the year before (another unique tradition). I brought cloth to a local tailor who fitted me with an outfit that I wore to the concluding Sunday mass on the 11^th, along with the rest of the family. I also took an active part in the rest of the festivities that weekend which included food preparation and pito brewing by the women, traditional dancing and an all-night vigil complete with prayers on Friday night. 

The memorial mass the next day was followed by the party for about 100 people, which included a DJ and dancing, a meal for all who attended, and a few complimentary drinks. It warms the heart to see people with very few resources providing all comers with food, entertainment and memories in the name of their patriarch. A good time had by all. Sunday included the regular mass with close family members (myself included) adorned in the traditional matching outfits followed by another meal with the same group (about 20 of us). My main contribution over the weekend was transportation in helping to procure drinks and water, using Unity Centre refrigeration, and providing rides to the depot, as out of town people caught their transportation home. With my own family half of a world away, it’s very comforting to be so included in this one here.

Again and again, I find that engaging the world and people around me leads to wonderful relationships. We can never have too many good people in our lives. They are all around you waiting to be met. The more diverse the group, the better. As a matter of fact, due to the language differences, I find that I have to work quite a bit harder to express myself and to understand what is said to me here in Ghana and that extra concentration bears bountiful fruit. Bridging differences is indeed a very strong bond. As Mother Teresa so famously said, ‘Make your own Calcutta.’ Reach out to those around you in a mindful way. The sky is the limit for the spiritual rewards you will reap.