Funeral Memorial

I have just passed the halfway point of my 3-year commitment in Damongo working for the Diocese. The work itself has been very fulfilling. However, even more fulfilling has been my immersion into the local culture. I count many Ghanaians as friends. We work together. We eat together. We celebrate together. We even commiserate together, at times.

The culture here is much more communal than that of America. For a variety of reasons, I think it’s something we in the US have lost over the years. There are 35 tribes in Ghana. Locally, the Gonjas are most predominant, with the Dagarre and Frafras making up most of the local smaller Catholic population (as compared with Muslim - largely Gonja tribe). These two tribes have migrated from the Upper West and Upper East regions of the country, respectively. Certain tribes here associate in a joking way with another, which is the case of the Dagarre and Frafra, referring to each other as ‘playmates.’ I am continually interacting with both and I enjoy the banter between them.

Over the weekend of August 10^th and 11^th, I had the honor of taking an active part in the memorial service for Charles Naagieh, a local Dagarre man, who lived fruitfully as a farmer and held various other jobs during his time in Damongo. I actually met Charles on his deathbed, on the last day of his 82-year-old life. 

The foundation of the communal life here is tribe/family. In addition to the birthing parents, aunts and uncles are also referred to as fathers and mothers, as are other tribal elders, to a lesser degree. The same holds true of cousins referred to as brother and sister and tribal aged contemporaries. This inclusionary way of living means nobody falls through the cracks here. It also makes the planning of funerals and weddings very difficult because of travel and the desire to have everyone present. Such was the case with Charles.

I became aware of Charles through his daughter (fraternal niece), Cynthia, who works at the Catholic Secretariat. It was made known that Charles needed blood. I answered that call, donating on June 28^th 2023. I met him afterward and joined the family in prayer around his bed. He expired the next day. Because of the aforementioned travel coordination, Charles was buried about 6 weeks later in his hometown of Nandom, Upper West Region about a 4-hour drive away. The 6-week period between death and burial is very common here. I have heard stories of up to a year between the events. August 10^th and 11^th 2024 were set as the local 1-year memorial in Damongo so that those who could not travel to Nandom in 2023 could celebrate Charles life. This type of memorial is also a strong tradition among the Dagarre people.

As in nature, I believe that the birth death cycle is the foundation of our own relationships with each other and the world. Through my very brief interaction with the dying Charles, a very strong friendship developed with Cynthia and her extended family. I attend church with her, her sister, Mary and their children each Sunday. We regularly visit Dinah, Charles widow, for a beer or Pito, a traditional local drink. Truly, I feel as part of the family.

A few weeks before the local celebration, the family presented me with the cloth they had all dressed in at the funeral the year before (another unique tradition). I brought cloth to a local tailor who fitted me with an outfit that I wore to the concluding Sunday mass on the 11^th, along with the rest of the family. I also took an active part in the rest of the festivities that weekend which included food preparation and pito brewing by the women, traditional dancing and an all-night vigil complete with prayers on Friday night. 

The memorial mass the next day was followed by the party for about 100 people, which included a DJ and dancing, a meal for all who attended, and a few complimentary drinks. It warms the heart to see people with very few resources providing all comers with food, entertainment and memories in the name of their patriarch. A good time had by all. Sunday included the regular mass with close family members (myself included) adorned in the traditional matching outfits followed by another meal with the same group (about 20 of us). My main contribution over the weekend was transportation in helping to procure drinks and water, using Unity Centre refrigeration, and providing rides to the depot, as out of town people caught their transportation home. With my own family half of a world away, it’s very comforting to be so included in this one here.

Again and again, I find that engaging the world and people around me leads to wonderful relationships. We can never have too many good people in our lives. They are all around you waiting to be met. The more diverse the group, the better. As a matter of fact, due to the language differences, I find that I have to work quite a bit harder to express myself and to understand what is said to me here in Ghana and that extra concentration bears bountiful fruit. Bridging differences is indeed a very strong bond. As Mother Teresa so famously said, ‘Make your own Calcutta.’ Reach out to those around you in a mindful way. The sky is the limit for the spiritual rewards you will reap. 

Barka de Sala

 

One of many interesting things I have observed in Damongo is the way the various religious faiths get along so well. Northern Ghana is roughly 80% Muslim and the remainder Christian and a mix of Traditional African Tribal religions. June 17th was the Muslim observance of Sala, the ending of the fasting of Eid al-Adha (Abraham's sacrifice of the ram) holiday. The town was abuzz with positive activity. There were feasts of bbq'd meat everywhere. Well dressed people proudly walking around with smiles. The salutation, 'Barka de Sala' (Enjoy your Sala) is not limited to the Muslims. It is an observable and joyful heartfelt greeting shared by everyone.

 

Where I come from in America (Cleveland, Oh), the Muslim population is so small that the community was never on my life's radar. It's probably that way with most of the readers here. Due to media coverage and the way we learn history, I believe it's safe to say that most of us in the West believe there is an ever-present contentious feeling between the Abrahamic religions (Muslim, Christian and Judaism all share their geographic and theological roots in the figures and stories of the Old Testament, most prominently Abraham and Moses). We have become almost numb to constant Middle East squabbling and warfare since the Crusades almost 1000 years ago. Currently, our media often seems to pit different cultures and beliefs - which share far more similarities than differences - against each other for no more reason than ratings. 

I'm not naive. I fully understand that some radical followers of these religions have promulgated conflict for millennia all over the globe. But what I can report is that my observations on the ground in Ghana present a much more refreshing and optimistic reality. The people here share common struggles - poverty, health, environmental issues, among others. Which God is more 'powerful' or 'righteous' tends to pale to irrelevance in comparison when presented with such day-to-day realities. They depend on each other. Religious 'pedigrees' tend to pale in comparison.

There's an old Hindu saying in regard to religion and God: 'When there are so many fingers pointing toward the moon, we tend to concentrate more on the fingers than the moon itself.' How true. The world has many troubles (in addition to so many more wonderful and astonishing attributes!). Religious beliefs serve as a consolation and provide balance to many believers. That's what they're meant to do. When they divide, they are counterproductive and need to be rethought. It is so important to always be willing to grow and change for the better. Your brothers and sisters are all around you. Chances are, they have the same fears, mistrust, dreams and love that you do even though they may look different or follow different customs. Don't hesitate to reach out to each other. Disregard self-incubated, deluded and often paranoid reasons for your motivations in relation to others. 

I'm quite sure that the many things I observe on this part of my life's journey in Damongo are much more a learning dynamic than any attempts at teaching anything. I realized that going in. Of course, we should always be cognizant of doing both - learning and teaching. That is what life is ultimately all about. Barka de Sala, Happy Easter, Shalom (or any other heartfelt inclusion of others) are really all the same in the end. It's love. It's informing your neighbor that you wish them well; that they should celebrate the day, our dependence upon each other and our very common existence. Don’t just relegate it to designated holidays. Celebrate and include everyone everyday. Spread the love that is the only relevant energy of the universe.

Do you really think that the God we follow actually differentiates between how you profess it or act upon that motivation? Can we be so arrogant? I, for one, believe in the better angels of our collective nature.

PEACE

Growth Is a Gain Not a Loss

The most common misperception about missioning work is that it is a process of privation- giving things up and even enduring an amount of suffering. I find that nothing could be further from the truth. Certainly, there is a fair amount of adaptation - new culture, language, food, etc., but these things tend to add to personal growth after the initial ‘shock’ upon arrival. Growth is a gain, not a loss, after all. Many of those things that we grow to believe are ‘necessities’ are really conditioned comforts in most cases and often hinder spiritual growth, especially when we mistakenly believe they are responsible for our happiness.

I am fortunate in my capacity in helping to manage the restaurant, bar and guesthouse that I am able to meet and befriend such a wide variety of people, including all of the wonderful younger people that I work with. While many of them have desires for the things that we take for granted in the West, I rarely get the feeling that they are complaining about their individual situations.

While there is a universality in the way all people perceive the world, we all want the same basic things- security, health, purpose and love-, it is our uniqueness which spurs our spiritual growth and perceptions. There is no shortage of unique people here. There is Lazarus, the talented young German-trained electrician who patiently helps me navigate a very different electrical grid; Richard, who is my own age, alternately working as a plumber and chicken farmer. He is always able to provide sage cultural advice and good humor; Moses, the nursing school instructor, who is well versed in so many diverse spiritual practices, not least of which are those ancient African tribal traditions; Gifty and William, the stationary/boutique/plumbing supply proprietors, who stop by a few nights per week to share their delicious homemade cuisine with me; there is Mathias, also known as ‘Zero Minutes’ because he is always busy and willing to quickly lend a hand to whatever job needs being done; conversely, there is Dennis the tailor, aptly named ‘Come Tomorrow’ who I gave a pair of pants to refit and regrettably told him I was in no hurry to have them back. He returned them 8 months later! These are just a few examples. It seems each day brings new personalities and thus opportunities to grow into my life.

Yes, I miss certain things from my home, especially my grown children, but none of these things even close to the point of distraction. It is true that I don’t have a grocery store here with mile-long aisles of cereals, meats, fruits and vegetables. There’s no McDonalds, Starbucks or 12 lane highways either. However, I do have a local market where the food is farm-to-table, lacking any injections of chemical preservatives that most of us cannot pronounce and even fewer of us want to know why they are ‘necessary’; and I do know how to cook. Travel is slower, but, like most people here, I’m in no hurry. There’s a lack of heavy industry and its inherent pollution.  The electricity goes out sporadically and the internet can be spotty at times, but I stopped watching TV years ago and I don’t depend on the web so much. So, I’m lacking processed and fast food, faster cars, heavy industry, and gourmet coffee. Necessities? Hmmm… Yes, it can be a bit warm here (ha-ha), but my physical health has never been better and my inner peace is flourishing. Life is far from perfect for the people in Damongo of which I am now one, yet I am always struck by the fact that they seem far more happy and less anxious on the whole with what appears to be so much less than the culture I was raised in. Perhaps we’ve gotten the whole ‘mission thing’ wrong. Perhaps it is places like Ghana that should be sending their missioners to places like America.               

The View From Here

With the month of February comes the beginning of the very hot dry season here in Damongo and also marks the end of my first year of service. The perception is usually that mission service is a sacrifice. While I understand that at a very simple surface level, I never really looked at it that way. Even before I arrived, I knew that my calling was one of spiritual enrichment. While I was coming here to share my talents and experiences with people I did not know on the other side of the world, I was more keenly aware that I would be gaining much more from them - learning about a new culture, challenging myself and thus growing. How could gaining those things be considered sacrifice? I have not been disappointed in my expectations. The people here are very gracious and thankful. I do my best to reciprocate. They say that time flies when you’re having fun. It has. And I am.

My duties here have mostly entailed trying to make the Diocese of Damongo’s sole source of income, The Unity Centre, a more viable and profitable venture and thus bolster the Diocesan pastoral mission to provide for its people. With my background as a restauranteur, I have been able to advise management and staff on universal practices such as organizing and expanding the menu, profit margins and labor management. My contracting experience has enabled me to construct a low fence around the property to keep vehicles and roaming animals away from dining and drinking areas, enclose areas of the restaurant and bar for more efficient operation, replace doors and locks to maximize security, install cameras and lighting to ensure safety and adding a modern stereo system at the bar.

Over the holidays my restaurant and contracting skills combined to create a new grilling station near the bar area by reusing material stored in the warehouse. Just as Americans consume chicken wings and other appetizers, the people here crave those quick and easy foods while they relax with their favorite beverage. Of course, the cuisine here is different, though western influence is expanding food desires as well as a plethora of other items through internet connectivity. There is a demand to have those things that we have in the West. Since the end of the year, our grilling menu has expanded to include skewered beef sausage, chicken gizzard and other popular meats as they are available, as well as guinea fowl (a popular local poultry) and tilapia. Future plans will include such western staples as hamburgers, french-fries and constructing an adjacent station devoted exclusively to pizza which is popular the world over and also a specialty of mine. I am also planning to renovate the bar itself with new tile flooring, a fresh coat of paint and design to give it distinction and a big screen projection TV, as sports and beer are also very popular in this soccer-crazed part of the world.  

The much-anticipated Jubilee House, a brand new 3 story, 34 room guesthouse, also opened at the end of the year. Damongo was named the capital of the new Savannah Region of Ghana five years ago and is adjacent to the internationally renowned Mole National Wildlife Reserve. The diocese is priming itself to be on the cutting edge of all the expanding demands of growing population and tourism. It is my job to help in that process.

I am also very thankful for the refurbished truck that was provided by generous donations last November. Not only does it help in general operations- procuring restaurant and bar supplies, as well as my own contracting material, but is also utilized for getting some employees to and from work, as well as church, and a variety of other uses. Travel is difficult here and costly. The average employee makes about $45 per month. Rides to town, where most of them live, costs about a dollar round trip. As I try unsuccessfully to do the math of individual monthly budgets of those I work with, I’m convinced that the community values which inspire the people here to share and look out for one another is the glue which holds this place together. It appears the truck has become part of that glue.

As I stated in my opening, my learning and spiritual growth here greatly outweighs any perceived sacrifice. Sure, I miss my adult children and occasionally see mouth-watering food items on social media that make me miss my home and its luxuries. However, watching the ways that people move forward here with far less of what we normally measure our society by- capital, industry, infrastructure, etc.- is truly inspiring and I am more than honored that they accept me and let me take part. The one asset that is not so measurable, but in great supply here, is human spirit. Through cooperation among each other and support from outside groups and donors like Lay-Mission Helpers, I find myself growing by observing and living with a people who do not accept defeat from a world that often measures ‘success’ in ways not so natural to them. While the mission plan here is invaluable, I often think that in many ways the people of Damongo could teach those of us in the West a certain spiritual mission work of their own. The view from here makes that point difficult to ignore.

Receiving

‘…it is more blessed to give than to receive.’ (Acts 20:35)

These words, attributed to Jesus, are familiar to all of us. They are especially relevant during the holiday season. We are taught that it is the giving that is most important; being selfless and by doing so, enriching our spirit and growing closer to God. Few of us could argue with embracing this ideal. However, receiving is also very important. Not in keeping track of how much we can accumulate or how we can satisfy our very fleeting material desires, but in the very way we receive from others. Just as each of us gains spiritual growth in our own giving, it is very important that we allow others, especially those of limited means, the dignity and joy of participating in the process. This is one of the most important lessons I have learned during my first year in Ghana.

In all humility, giving has always come very easy to me. Growing up in way that my basic needs were always provided for, and having the ability to work gainfully as I entered adulthood, I always felt very blessed in what I had and was not so attached to any of it.  I rarely said no to the idea of giving.

I find my natural predisposition to give allows for spiritual joy within. It makes me happy. It does the same for all of us. And who doesn’t enjoy the inflated ego that comes with others telling us, ‘Wow, you’re such a great guy (or gal)’ as they pat you on the back? This dark side of giving is why it is so important to give quietly and humbly. The ego has a voracious appetite that will never be satisfied once we give in to its infinite desires. It is a monster that will devour us.

Over the years, I found that I was much more uncomfortable receiving than giving. Of course, I always appreciated when another person took the time and effort to give to me of themselves.  It is no great surprise to me that I have ended up in a place like Ghana, where so much giving is needed. However, accepting the gifts of others is a very foundational cultural norm here. Indeed, it is insulting to not participate in this way.

Coming from such a wealthy country like America and coupled with my predisposition to give, accepting from people of observably much less means can be difficult. For instance, in this culture a person passing by another or a group that is eating is always invited to join. They are very group oriented and much more inclined to share than what I see in our own culture. When offered food, my knee-jerk reaction is to think that I have plenty at home and more money in my pocket than the person offering; that they need it more than I do.

Recently, I provided a ride to a single, pregnant mother of very limited means and her son. She asked that we stop and pick up a small snack at a roadside stand. She bought three. It was late, and knowing I was going home to my well-stocked kitchen, I politely declined when offered one, figuring she and her son needed it more than I did. My reasoning was very well-intentioned. As I thought about it the next day, it struck me that I was denying her the pleasure of giving by not receiving. Not letting her thank me. When I spoke to her about it and apologized, I found that she was a bit angry about it. She had good reason. Just because we have more does not give us the right to diminish the dignity of another, no matter how well-intentioned. It is a participation, not a competition. I’m quite sure I have done this same thing many times in my life without realizing it.

So, I have learned to receive from others graciously no matter who they are or how they appear. I have learned to participate in a more equitable manner; to not always strive to be the hero; to share the responsibility of being my brother’s keeper with others without judgement.

Is it truly better to give than to receive? Like most things in life, there are no absolutes. The ground we stand upon is always changing and so should we. By all means continue to give to those in need. You will see them all around you, unless you refuse to open your eyes. Enjoy your giving quietly. It is good for your soul. But also receive with the same generosity of spirit and an open heart as when you give and remember that all of us are called equally to participate in this spiritually nourishing process.      

Artwork by 8-year-old neighbor

Truck Has Arrived

It is with heartfelt gratitude that I can report that the Nissan truck that was paid for by the generous donations of so many family members, friends, and the extended family of Lay Mission Helpers has arrived after 7 weeks of extensive mechanical and body work. Not only were the repairs made, including a whole new engine, but there was enough donated to provide for fuel and miscellaneous expenses for the near future; thus, achieving the goal of alleviating any further strain on a Diocese burdened with plenty of other challenges.

The truck will not only provide immediate dividends in day-to-day operations of the Unity Centre, the Damongo Diocese’s sole source of income, but will also allow me to travel to outlying parishes to make much needed repairs and provide regular maintenance for buildings in need. My own appreciation is secondary. If I could only adequately express the gratitude that the people here feel for the kindness of strangers who live so far away willing to go outside of their own busy lives to help them, I would. My words do not suffice. Please allow yourselves a moment of satisfaction that you have indeed participated in God’s love in no small way by going beyond your own daily challenges to help your needy brothers and sisters on the other side of the world.

While I was discerning my present calling, a priest gave me some very daunting and valuable advice: ‘When God gets hold of you, He will always ask more.’ He failed to mention the other side of the ledger: attempting to fulfill such an obligation is more enriching than one could possibly realize. Indeed, it is us getting hold of God, who is always patiently present within us; realizing our individual callings to slow down, listen, and act according to our own unique, divine gifts.

Life is full of challenges here, but I live in a gratitude which grows by the moment, knowing that each day I humbly attempt to live in a way that continually nourishes my very soul. My only hope is that, in my own small way, I can provide small comfort to those who have become like family. Rest assured, they provide no small amount of comfort to me, as do you all. 

In the end, we are each indispensable links in the chain of God’s love, which is the energy of the universe. It is my fervent hope that, during this holiday season, you can focus not so much on the world’s chaos and those things which cause anxiety, but concentrate on the infinite goodness within yourself and those loved ones that surround you, knowing that that is what nourishes the world; that is what endures. Please keep the Lay Mission Helpers family in your hearts this holiday season. Their work is very noble. The fulfillment immeasurable. And again, THANK YOU!

PEACE LOVE & AMDG

To continue making a difference in this ongoing project or support my other works, log onto: www.laymissionhelpers.org, follow the link to ‘Mark McGraw’s Mission’ and press ‘DONATE’.

 

Transportation Needs

‘It’s not easy’ is a very common phrase that I hear in Damongo. I joke with my new friends that it should be the motto underneath the Ghanaian flag. Perhaps it could be translated into Latin: ‘non facile est.’ In truth, things being easy or not is a very relative term. Arguably, none of us has it ‘easy’. When I hear the phrase in Ghana, it is not said with any resentment or sadness. It’s just a statement of fact. The people here are amazingly resilient. Many are used to living on the fringe and making due with what little they have. Being very community and family oriented certainly eases the burdens, at least spiritually. Their traditions place great value in looking out for each other and sharing. Frankly, it’s something that we have lost in the West and could relearn from them.

One of the biggest obstacles here is transportation. While the costs of basic food, shelter and clothing are very relative in the developed and less developed areas of the world, vehicles and fuel are not. Like most developing countries, the most common form of getting from one place to another in rural Ghana is by foot, a healthy tradition I have happily embraced. Longer distances are most commonly traversed by means of bicycles, scooters and small motorcycles. When you see a car or pickup truck, it’s common to see upwards of 15-20 people in and on them (and 4-5 on a cycle!). These are the basic ways Ghanaians attempt to address fuel and vehicle costs. For reasons I will clarify, my role here as a contractor and facilities manager often demands a more utilitarian means of transport: a work-dedicated and shared-usage pickup truck.

The Diocese of Damongo is 11,000 square miles in area (a little larger than the state of Massachusetts) and serves approximately 410,000 people in 13 parishes. While my work is mainly centered at the Secretariat and its Unity Centre Complex (guesthouse, restaurant and bar) as a manager and head of maintenance, there is also a glaring need for my abilities to repair diocese buildings in the outlying parishes. Unfortunately, there is currently no vehicle or driver assigned either to the Unity Centre Complex to take care of such things as food and beverage procurement and the transport of larger maintenance materials or for building maintenance at the outlying parishes. My proposal here will help to solve both issues.

The Unity Centre serves as the Diocese’s sole method of generating income, and often times the restaurant matron and I will engage private transportation to go into town and buy food, supplies and other materials which affects this very important bottom line. To maximize the efficiency of my manager/maintenance role here, it would seem that a vehicle, which is not currently budgeted for, is a necessity.

The Secretariat and the local and outlying parish ministries are the first line of defense in the battle against poverty (national per capita income is about $2200, but far less in rural areas like Damongo and the 13 other parishes). Equally important, is that the church serves as the source of spiritual well-being and community. The people here take great pride in their worship, always clean and well-dressed and participating with great energy in the weekly and special services. Like any other structures over time, the churches and other diocese buildings need repair and would greatly benefit from the simple, regular maintenance that I could provide and thus help to foster that pride and devotion that congregations and employees bring to the buildings. This is a large part of the reason Lay Mission Helpers sent me here and, as of now, is a scope of work that has yet to be addressed mainly because of transportation issues.

Currently, the diocese owns a vehicle (2008 Nissan D22) that needs @$4,300 in repairs to make it safely road ready for travel within Damongo and the more difficult travel to parishes further away. In addition, my licensing, insurance and miscellaneous fees would total @$1,000 and a years-worth of fuel and oil changes is estimated at @$1100 per year. The appeal I’m asking you to consider would total $7,500 (repairs, fees, 2 years of fuel and miscellaneous costs). Any donation would be greatly appreciated as I try to live up to the LMH credo and mission of ‘For we are God’s Helpers.’ (1 Cor 3:9)

You can make a tax-deductible donation on the LMH website www.laymissionhelpers.org by selecting the DONATE button and choosing “Mark McGraw’s Mission”.

Peace and prayers, & my deep thanks in advance!